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One day, as I was talking to a stamp dealer and asking him for something he didn't have, he pulled out of folder and of 19th-century envelopes and asked: What do you think of these?Within minutes my hobby and been radically transformed.Much of what is valuable in this world is the product of mashing up ideas or music or personalities that are on the face of it incompatible.And the secret is that great chemistry (for example in music) isn't about putting together people who are on the same page—it is about putting together people who are different and making it work. So it is with relationships; compatibility is a terrible idea in selecting a partner.
We need the scarcity to propel us to try the unlikely pairings.My refocused hobby would never have come about in a low-friction market like e Bay—I would have never even bothered to look at the postal history section. Inefficient markets are good because they lead us to look at new things and try new things. A final thing: By reducing the cost of finding someone, online dating also makes it too easy to avoid being alone after a relationship fails.Most people don't want to be alone, but a traditional inefficient dating market made this an unavoidable reality for most people.Of course online dating is still work, but the emotional labor and risk of failure has been significantly reduced.Slater picks up on two unintended consequences of a low-friction dating market.
It leads to stasis, both for individuals and for relationships and (turning my music example into a metaphor) it leads to music that is predictable and unexciting. Online markets assume we know what we are looking for, but sometimes we simply don't know what we are looking for until we stumble across it in a search for something else.